Parent Bullying

I just want to vent my feelings here because I have no one else to go to. My sister and I were just having some laughs (laughing can extend your lifeline) and my one told us to be quiet. We kind of tuned it down but we weren't laughing that loud. Suddenly my mom shows up all angry looking like a mean red bull. She yells at my sister and I and makes this punching movements like she wants to kill us. She hits my sister's neck and pulls her hair and I sit and cower in my chair. She moves next to me next and she punches me. I all scared and I'm waiting for her to leave so I can lock the door and get as far away from her as possible. She finally leaves and but she suddenly comes back and tells me to open the door and I don't want to but she's like OPEN IT RIGHT NOW!!!!! So I open it and I'm holding a pillow like it's my life and she punches me again and leaves. I lock the door again and crying and playing loud music so nobody loves me. I'm playing Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan because they have the most accurate songs about my life. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. :(

Confessions & Promises

I actually haven't been able to keep up with my exercise routines or my diet plans. So far I've been doing nothing but adding more extra pounds instead. All of this is my fault and I've finally come to accept that fact. I mean I was in denial and I kept telling myself that I'm not gaining anything when in fact I am. It's tough for someone like me who really loves food to stop eating. I inhale my food rather than chewing it. I'm like a vacuum that will suck the food out of the plates and still beg/ninja-steal some more.
Today i noticed that there are stretch marks on my shoulders and I'm completely shocked that I grew that much. I haven't check my wait but I'm pretty sure it's already like 205-207 lbs. That's back to where I started. I can't continue on like this. I knew that there are a lot of dangers of being obese and my mom just told me that there are a lot of patients (she's a nurse) mostly young people who have had strokes due to being highly overweight. I think that now is the time for me to actually do something about this. I know that i told myself something like this a really long time ago but I think this will be the first time i will really commit myself to this goal because not only will it help me but make me feel better about myself. For once I have a real reason as to why I want to lose weight. It's not to fit in into our current beauty-based society but to live a healthier life so I can finally live my life to the fullest without having a lot of restrictions. I also want to lose weight because I made a promise with my cousin whom I haven't seen for about 7-8 years before we left home from a family vacation that before I turn 18 i would have lost the weight so the next time we meet I am healthy and look better. I will do my best to successfully fulfill this promise. I will win this battle against weight loss and update it whenever I have time on this blog.

Sauna Suit

So today my parents bought me a sauna suit. So I tried it this evening and holy moly it started feeling so hot inside the suit after like a minute of putting it on. I exercised for about 15 minutes before i was completely drench inside and my sweat started to flow out. I thought I was going to die in it. Here's a picture of the product. It's a tad bit big though.

Okay so it's finally summer break and it's the perfect time to actually get things done and lose weight. So to make sure that I don't over-eat and keep up with my exercise routines I decided to take the ugliest photos that I still have (who knows why I haven't obliterated them from my hard drive) and add some captions to warn me about breaking my rules. So here is a sample if you would like to see how ugly I am. My face has been pixelated for privacy purposes. Now the caption I put in this specific picture only applies to myself. It doesn't apply to anyone else who has short hair and may have fat. I'm trying to be stricter with myself so I'm teasing my own self so that I won't ever have to look like this again. I'll be printing out my motivation cards tomorrow and let's see what these cards do for me.

Okay I have already introduced myself in the sidebar to the left and this is my very first post. Okay so if you read my introduction and understand my situation. I'm pretty sure a lot of other people suffer from the same thing. If you don't you're very lucky, don't ever let yourself be in my shoes. This blog is a way for me to just write about what I do to get in shape and just write problems that I'm dealing and how i will solve them. I hope that I will be able to reach my goal. It will not be easy but I have to put a lot of effort and endure the pain or I won't produce any results.